Here’s the thing, sunshine.
Comparison is a bitch of a habit that will bite you in the ass every time – plain and simple.
It’s like Danielle LaPorte said, it leads to a dangerously slippery slope of jealousy. I can also say I’ve had personal experience of this just recently.
I’m a Facebook girl. I love to connect with like-minded people all over the world. And yes, on occasion, I’ll start up a conversation with an unknown person just simply because our mutual friends are personal favs, or I run across them and I’m drawn to their energy, or I get that gut feeling to connect. I’ve learned to pay attention to that – and it has served me delightfully well, I must say.
At one point, I came across one very interesting individual that I didn’t have time to visit with at the moment, but felt the nudge to connect. We had LOADS of mutual contacts, so rather than message, I opted for a quick friend request. Couldn’t hurt, right?
Later on that afternoon, she accepted my friend request AND messaged me! I was thrilled! How fun was this going to be?! We had a great conversation and she actually asked me about what it is that I do and if I knew this person or that person. Turns out – she knew my former mentor, which I was unaware of, especially given her locale. We continued to converse and she asked about my services to which my response was that if she was already having conversation with my former mentor, she would be best served to seek his advice rather than mine. I surely didn’t want to step on any professional toes and even gave her his website, some info on what he has offered in the past, and what his past rates were as well. It was a great conversation and I did end up offering a couple of book resources as her funds were minimal at the time and she couldn’t afford a session with him. I even offered to do a short Skype session with her at no charge to give her a tish of clarity. I felt sorry for the poor lady and honestly, had I not had people offer services like this to me in my early stages of this journey, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
That being said, we had a splendid conversation and I went on about my normal routines. Fast forward a week or so…
I get an email from my former mentor. Boy howdy, was that a fun one! But it just makes my example that much clearer. Within the context of this email he stated:
“I will ask you one time to please not contact those that are on my Facebook page or clients of mine. If I hear of any more people that you are contacting and offering your help to, then I will have to take this further.”
Now, given the fact that he didn’t ask anything about my conversation with this gal, just straight up accused me of trying to ramrod his business by “stealing” clients…I have to call bullshit. On top of the fact that because we’ve lived in the same area before and know many of the same people, clearly we are going to have loads of mutual contacts. And so what??? Not to mention, thinly veiled threats amuse the hell out of me and fire me up to do what I do even more so. Tell me I can’t? Um, yeah, sure. Just watch me!!!
Besides, don’t the appropriate teachers show up when we are ready for them? So who are any of us to say that we can or can’t work with an individual or not? I’ve come to understand that trying to control who we do and don’t work with is more a manifestation of our ego than simply letting Source do it’s handy work. We are all drawn together for whatever reason – even if it isn’t glaringly apparent to begin with, or ever.
I can remember telling him once that I was going to attempt to start taking some online classes from HIS previous mentor. I felt terribly guilty and was just dreading telling him, although I knew I needed to. His response? “You will gain insight and learning from a variety of teachers in your lifetime. I won’t be the only one and would never expect you to not search out other options. No need to be nervous. You almost sound like you are breaking up with me!” The nervousness and fear disappeared. Whew!!!
Which all brings me back to my original point – when we feel overly competitive or start comparing ourselves to another, we are setting ourselves up at the top of a very slippery slope to jealousy. I understand why he came at me the way he did. Extreme, unhealthy competitiveness and comparing ourselves to one another can feel really harsh and can entice us to lash out in jealousy and insecurity by means of ways that we wouldn’t normally do. It doesn’t excuse his threats and behaviors – but I now have a deeper understand and have more compassion for him and the space he was holding when he made that jab.
I do what I do within my newly established business and I love it. I know that the clients that need what I have to offer will find me or I will find them. I trust that. Source wouldn’t have been opening all of these amazing doors if it wasn’t supposed to be that way. I believe the same goes for any other healer. The people who really need what you have to offer will find you when you open yourself up and allow it to happen in whatever way Source sees it best suited for you.
Just follow the nudges, ya know? And tell that green-eyes jealousy monster to take a hike…😉
xoxo ~ Mel