Whether they are 7 or 17 years old, disciplining our children is a daily reality — and frequently, the main source of conflicts, anger, frustration and distance in our relationship with them.
This reminds of a great saying: We always have a choice. We can either change what we do or change the way we look at it.
Since we can’t stop disciplining our kids, I would like to offer you a new way to look at it. I believe in two basic truths.
The essence of each human being is goodness.
Every human being has the desire to succeed.
Yet, we see our kids being mean, disrespectful, lazy and careless. What is going wrong?
We are all players in the Game of Life, and a big part of this game is playing against our opponent, so says society. From the moment we are born, this force blocks us from connecting to our true essence and desire, creating very strong illusion that masks who we really are (so that we can rediscover that connection, but that’s for another time).
Every time our kids behave less than their best, remember that this is part of the Game of Life. If we want to help our children win and reconnect to their true essence, instead of emphasizing the negative, let’s remind them about their real essence and Light.
It starts with the words we use. Rather than saying “Stop being mean to your sister,” we can say “Find the love in you for your sister.” Replace “You behave like an animal!” with “I know it is hard to resist acting out but I know you have that power inside you.”
It might sound unnatural in the beginning and your kids might (read: definitely) look at you funny, but you will feel and see the difference if you stick with it. We don’t realize how many negative words we use with our children every day, or that there are more positive ways to phrase things that will feed their souls instead of their opponents.
The hardest discipline for any person to maintain is the belief and connection to our genuine essence and power. Let’s discipline our children with empowerment not repression, for connection not disconnection. Let’s impart this consciousness to our children now and help them own their Light and power for the rest of the of their lives.
xoxo – Mel